When life just becomes too much

You know those times when you just really want to crawl into your bed and forget the world for a second? yeah well I am having one of those moments right now. I can't handle the fact that school is starting in less than two days and my anxiety is setting in and really getting the best of me. I have tried to be as productive as I can be and I don't know if I can do better, all I know is that I am really exhausted and I would really like an additional week off because I need to rest and not worry so much. Beside the fact that I have been stressing my guts out, I have discovered amazing music, discovered some of my new interest that I will definitely do more of and perhaps develop in. I have been doing some coding because you know how nerdy I can be, haha, not funny. I have spent majority of my time in my room trying to figure out how to place certain codes into a certain area of a website and quite literally spent the rest of the time of my winter break on youtube, no regrets! I have had an awesome time in my room, alone (cries of loneliness)

I haven't bothered to do anything too fancy this winter break, I am just so very happy that I got the opportunity to rest the way that I did and not have to wake up super early to go to school and come back home, cry for some time and then do some homework and then sleep. I have spent some time with my family and just enjoyed my time off. I much prefer this routine of doing absolutely nothing. It's bizarre to say such a thing because I am normally a ''get rid of everything you have to do before you consider anything else'' but I just haven't bothered recently. Am I upset about it? Maybe, but I know I wont be having as much time to rest the more I get into high school. So why not now? I will make the promise to myself that I will get my life together, I promise! I wont slouch around the house and complain about my life, my grades, the lack of friends in my life and my miserable version of a social life. I will get it together, because I really haven't much to choose between. Either I fail or I succeed, which we all know which I prefer. Since tomorrow is the last day of my break, I want to make sure I really pamper myself and get into the whole school spirit (I wont ever be ready, but at least I can pretend, right?) Whatever anyone says, I wont stop to challenge myself and I feel that 2016 will be a year where I truly challenge myself to do things I would normally not do. A lot of great things are happening in 2016, I can sense it! I hope this year wont feel as much of a fail as 2015. I truly wish this year will be the greatest year of my life. Yet again, I said the same for 2015 and look where I am at now...complaining about 2015 being such an utter fail.

I have personally brought a lot of lessons with me from 2015 that I will consider in 2016. I will truly consider what made 2015 so bad and really get things into my thick skull to make sure I don't do as many mistakes as well as preventing my really negative and depressing side to show of, because I really did last year, especially towards the end of the year 2015. I am currently considering wether I should go through my playlist as well as cleaning my email inbox and actually do something productive today. I am also trying to get my hands on a really good book to get drunk in. I haven't been reading as much as I wish recently and my list of books I want to read is getting full, so it's time to head towards the library and get my hands on a great book to read.

  1. Practice, practice, practice for my final test in biology (cry because I know how this will end)

2. Draw, because man, it's been a while.

3. Listen to some good music, because that can really calm your nerves.

4. Go to sleep earlier! This should be at the top of the list, what?!

5. Read out a really good book and perhaps make a small unprofessional review of it? Who knows?

6. Go to school like a badass without crying on the way there.

7. Buy a new perfume, because I want to smell nice :3

8. Spend more time with my family, because I love them more than anything on this planet and universe.

9. Read!!!

10. Pickup badminton as an extra activity after school.

http://whali3n.tumblr.com/post/136965384371/i-dont-own-the-credit-of-this-song-nor-do-i-claim