When life just becomes too much

You know those times when you just really want to crawl into your bed and forget the world for a second? yeah well I am having one of those moments right now. I can't handle the fact that school is starting in less than two days and my anxiety is setting in and really getting the best of me. I have tried to be as productive as I can be and I don't know if I can do better, all I know is that I am really exhausted and I would really like an additional week off because I need to rest and not worry so much. Beside the fact that I have been stressing my guts out, I have discovered amazing music, discovered some of my new interest that I will definitely do more of and perhaps develop in. I have been doing some coding because you know how nerdy I can be, haha, not funny. I have spent majority of my time in my room trying to figure out how to place certain codes into a certain area of a website and quite literally spent the rest of the time of my winter break on youtube, no regrets! I have had an awesome time in my room, alone (cries of loneliness)

I haven't bothered to do anything too fancy this winter break, I am just so very happy that I got the opportunity to rest the way that I did and not have to wake up super early to go to school and come back home, cry for some time and then do some homework and then sleep. I have spent some time with my family and just enjoyed my time off. I much prefer this routine of doing absolutely nothing. It's bizarre to say such a thing because I am normally a ''get rid of everything you have to do before you consider anything else'' but I just haven't bothered recently. Am I upset about it? Maybe, but I know I wont be having as much time to rest the more I get into high school. So why not now? I will make the promise to myself that I will get my life together, I promise! I wont slouch around the house and complain about my life, my grades, the lack of friends in my life and my miserable version of a social life. I will get it together, because I really haven't much to choose between. Either I fail or I succeed, which we all know which I prefer. Since tomorrow is the last day of my break, I want to make sure I really pamper myself and get into the whole school spirit (I wont ever be ready, but at least I can pretend, right?) Whatever anyone says, I wont stop to challenge myself and I feel that 2016 will be a year where I truly challenge myself to do things I would normally not do. A lot of great things are happening in 2016, I can sense it! I hope this year wont feel as much of a fail as 2015. I truly wish this year will be the greatest year of my life. Yet again, I said the same for 2015 and look where I am at now...complaining about 2015 being such an utter fail.

I have personally brought a lot of lessons with me from 2015 that I will consider in 2016. I will truly consider what made 2015 so bad and really get things into my thick skull to make sure I don't do as many mistakes as well as preventing my really negative and depressing side to show of, because I really did last year, especially towards the end of the year 2015. I am currently considering wether I should go through my playlist as well as cleaning my email inbox and actually do something productive today. I am also trying to get my hands on a really good book to get drunk in. I haven't been reading as much as I wish recently and my list of books I want to read is getting full, so it's time to head towards the library and get my hands on a great book to read.

  1. Practice, practice, practice for my final test in biology (cry because I know how this will end)

2. Draw, because man, it's been a while.

3. Listen to some good music, because that can really calm your nerves.

4. Go to sleep earlier! This should be at the top of the list, what?!

5. Read out a really good book and perhaps make a small unprofessional review of it? Who knows?

6. Go to school like a badass without crying on the way there.

7. Buy a new perfume, because I want to smell nice :3

8. Spend more time with my family, because I love them more than anything on this planet and universe.

9. Read!!!

10. Pickup badminton as an extra activity after school.

Current favorite Kpop Tracks

It's no surprise, I like kpop. Some kpop songs are really good (like the two songs above) I don't think you should limit the music you listen to, only to the music you understand. There are definitely some references and words in some kpop songs that I understand, because they're in english (lol) But to be honest, music is suposed to be the universal language of the world. I truly believe that more people should give it a try. Kpop can be a lot more than colorful music videos and poor lyrics, it can be astonishing and it can really capture you in the feels. BIGBANG and Bts are two bands I truly believe fill that category. If you want to understand the lyrics, I am sure there are several english-translated lyrics out there of these songs. It can be fun to understand because honestly, as soon as you understand them, you'll know what I am talking about.
Nadine x

WELCOME!

Hello! My name is Nadine and I am 16. I am very happy to start this blog because writing is one of the things I LOVE to do! I am a very emotional person and therefor sometimes I can go on about things and feelings that almost get your cringing. I would know, whenever I go back to read my old texts, I almost die of cringing. But it's okay, because feelings should be put into words. I'm an opitimist at heart with passion for everything that brings me happiness. I am a wannabe comedian that can make you laugh with my knock knock jokes. I like to illustrate and tell stories. I'm an awkward soul with no social skills whatsoever and a weirdo at heart. I'm a tea addict and strongly believe it's because of my additional english sense that grew with the years thanks to my love for The Beatles. I am a photographer and capture everything that gives me a special feeling. I'm an artist in all aspects and you'll most likely find me with my nose in a book, infront of my computer or behind the camera. I like to dance to my favorite records and read literature. I believe in chasing your dreams, and that there's no big or small dreams. I believe that life isn't pretty at times but what that reflects about us is how we handle those times. And I also believe that life can be remarkably beautiful too. I believe that being an artist, isn't about being perfect or capturing everything in it's most perfect state, but reflecting the true feeling you feel while you create. I live for the life that plays infront of my lense, about tight hugs from lovely people, the change in the weather, being surrounded by people that genuinely love you and make you happy, nature and all in it, crinkled eyes from smiling and freckles from the sun. I believe in living so strongly that when you go to bed you can't help but smile. Life is about love, laughter and giving. It's about imprinting the planet in the best way possible. I don't believe I'm an extraordinary person, but I do believe my lifestyle is extraordinary. And most of the times, nothing I say makes sense. I'm simply not your average girl. And I believe you're too since you showed up here. Please hang around and take a sit because you're about to experience my rollercoaster of a life.